Our Story
I had always looked forward to the day I would become a mother. I had dreamed of cuddling my baby into my arms and feeling my heart burst with love for the tiny little one who would bring me endless happiness. I pictured my whole family surrounding me, full of joy and peace.
My first child was born at the very end of 2019. Many of our expectations did not go to plan, and we struggled through a traumatic experience in the hospital. I had always pictured us sitting together on the bed as a newly growing family, complete with matching robes and swaddles or at least smiles on our faces–but I had pictured a moment that I never had the chance to experience. Instead, our stay was filled with disappointments, pain, and a whole lot of tears. It felt like we were barely surviving at times. I had heard so many friends and family talk about how they felt “the greatest love ever known” at the births of their children. This was something I had always wanted. So why didn’t I feel that way? Why didn’t we have that moment together?
When we returned home, we faced a variety of challenges. From feeding pain to a lack of sleep to a baby who would not cuddle, my experience was nothing like what I had imagined. As the weeks went on, my husband and I felt less and less like ourselves, struggling with our thoughts and emotions. It felt like I had to move a mountain just to build up the motivation to take our son for a walk some days, and leaving the house for an appointment was far more difficult. Besides what was going on with our new baby, I was also facing personal health issues, extended family struggles…oh, and did I mention that a global pandemic shut down our world? Our support systems were compromised and our stress mounted daily. These were not the moments we had always envisioned.
After so much struggling and the passing of time, I finally began to feel like myself again. I grew to love my son, and now I melt into every cuddle, feel my heart bursting for him and his little sister, and finally found the endless happiness that I had always wanted. When my daughter was born, I was more prepared, but with different struggles came different solutions that I needed to discover as I was also trying to raise her toddler brother.
The more I have shared my stories with other caregivers, the more I have heard of experiences with the same losses. Traumas, tragedies, pains, misunderstandings, conflicts, powerlessness–all resulting in moments that have been missed or that have not gone as expected. I came to realize that growing families must have guidance and support in this healthcare system and society where these necessities are sometimes hard to come by. And I truly felt called to help in the ways I know I can with such great passion for this work on a professional and personal level.
This idea was born out of the services I needed when I first nested with each of my babies. With time and attention to rebuilding our relationships and ourselves, we were able to create a secure, peaceful, and powerful home for our family. It is my greatest hope that I can meet the needs of your family throughout every one of your nesting moments.
